Life, You Are Officially Activated!

Today I had an interesting experience and decided to do a video before and after it. I visited The Sanctuary in Acton, MA for a Life Activation by Shawna Pelton. This is a healing that is thousands of years old from the Modern Mystery School.

This is about all I knew: “The Life Activation is a powerful healing modality that enables you to access your potential in life and allows you to see and progress in your journey of growth. This time-tested method has inspired people to move past barriers and achieve breakthroughs in their daily lives. It infuses your body with pure Light, making it’s way through blocks, issues, and weaknesses possibly unknown to  you.

Light makes visible what was hidden in the shadows of your subconscious and gives you the ability to work through what comes up for you to heal. It is really an empowering experience that has helped transform the lives of thousands of people.”




Well, I sure feel activated!


Life Activation

It Gets Better

Last month I really thought I wanted to die. There was a point in December when I was about to order some cyanide to kill myself with. Suicidal thoughts have plagued me for much of my life, but this recent episode was stronger than they’ve been in many years. What made this period so scary was I was taking action on those thoughts. I pursued those dark impulses, fed them and indeed sought out ways to die. Even though I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to do, I kept coming back to giving up on everything. It wasn’t until I let people know how bad I’d been feeling that the pressure of those thoughts relented and the sense of immediacy to act on them vanished.

In the past week I’ve been a guest on Hay House Radio, have received multiple rave reviews from mentors for my book, Still Here, have been asked to visit Pennsylvania this spring for an Akashic Records road trip, have gotten my gym regime back up to daily workouts, have had multiple inquiries from potential new coaching clients, have three live events scheduled for next month, have received healings from great energy workers, and have been feeling upbeat, happy and excited once again. Synchronicities and signs I’d been ignoring can no longer be ignored and I’m so in love with life once again.

Yet sitting in an email account I haven’t returned to are probably multiple inquiries from some unknown person in China that I was on the verge of sending hundreds of dollars to for something to end my life.

It gets better. I gets a lot better. It always gets better.

It gets better.

To Be A Man: Live Event in Amesbury, Ma

What does it mean to be a man? Have you ever taken some time to ponder that?

Are you living your own definition of being a man or someone else’s? Do you sometimes wonder if you are a “real” man or what that term even means?

Too many men I meet say they don’t have a place or a friend to talk to about what is really important to them; their goals, their fears… whatever it might be. If you ever wished you had a place to share your fears, stresses and worries with other men, this is your chance.

To Be A Man
Tuesday, February 2, 2016 from 6:30 PM to 9:00 PM (EST). Blue Wave Fine Art Gallery 52 Main St – 52 Main Street Amesbury, MA 01913.

6:30-7:00 pm Open networking and light refreshments
7:00 pm-9:00 pm Workshop
$35 if you pre-register/ 
$50 if you pay at the door

Click here to register.

Part of the 2016 Healing Art Series.

Real Men Support Each Other

Andy Grant Live on Hay House Radio with David Kessler

I’m appearing on Hay House Radio this Thursday. I’ll be joining David Kessler’s You Can Heal Your Heart radio show. It happens live at 3pm Eastern with a replay at 11pm. We’ll talk about my book Still Here and my more recent experiences around depression and suicidal thoughts. Tune in at

David Kessler

David Kessler

David Kessler welcomes Andy Grant, transformation coach and author. Andy opens up about his own challenges and how he continues to find healing and courage. He will share how authenticity doesn’t always mean positivity. Join David and Andy for this fascinating conversation on turning the corners when life sucks.

It all happens Thursday, January 14, 2016 at 3pm Eastern with a replay at 11pm.

David Kessler has authored numerous books on grief and dying, including You Can Heal Your Heart which has a story from me about my dog, Homer.

Join us at this Thursday!


Still Here


The Golden Ball of Light – a Channeled Poem

For the second time my deceased grandmother has contacted psychic medium, Laura Emerald, to get a message to me. This one was delivered as a poem. This connection was first made almost exactly a year ago, when I found myself in a similar time of prolonged suicidal thoughts. While last year I knew I wasn’t going to act on my self-destructive thoughts (it really felt like things releasing, for good I thought), this year, I wasn’t so sure. Last month I was as close to making an attempt as I’ve been in years.

Here is the poem my Gram gifted me.

Golden Ball of EnergyThe Golden Ball of Light

Andy Dear ~ here’s a Teddy Bear
For you to hold when feeling fear.

When you are sad, feeling alone and the world not right,
Think of me, your Gram, filling you with golden light.

Imagine a ball, big, and huge with love
That fills your head with sunshine from above.

Now Andy I am watching you
and know you’re testing spirits too…

I think you need a new measuring stick
to determine your self worth extremely quick!

For Andy ~ You are the I AM ~ Truly You ARE
And you’re seeking something external~thinking it’s far!

When in fact Andy, what you seek is on the inside
Your cells and soul~ You are God and from that you can’t hide.

So I ask you now to hold a mirror up
And know that what you see is a God hologram ~ Yup!

You feel this to be true but it turns your world upside down…
Realizing the Divine is YOU ~ means honoring your Body, Mind, and Soul this time ’round.

Andy Dear, I so want you to be happy
but I can’t give you that  or I would ~ yes, it’s sappy.

But I can tell you to make this your Wayne Dyer Year!
Listen to all of his writings, internalize it, and let go of your fear!

The world needs your light and your work’s not done
So please my dear, set aside thoughts of going dark and on the run.

Band together with your Spirit Guides, and ask the Angels for help too
and know that I’m seeing your heart true.

Please let me leave you with this thought,
You are like a Domino and your actions aren’t for naught.

Your actions have ripples and make people think
YOU are a positive impact so step back from the brink.

Your end is not to be a domino slide down a hole
Leaving your loved ones wondering and blaming their role.

Go out in Glory with your body old and weary
And loved ones honoring you all weepy and teary.

Let your Accomplishments pile high
Your life an inspiration…

Note: The poem is intentionally unfinished because my Gram says my life, my work, and my time on Earth is not finished.

Laura has recently released a short book of channeled poetry. She tells me she’s not a poet at all, but that is how Spirit communicates on occasion. Check out We Are Here: Whispers of Love from Laura Emerald.