Scary Mail

I received a letter in the mail before Thanksgiving and I’ve been resisting opening it.
Who sent it? What am I afraid of?
Watch now to find out.


Love LetterExplore sending a love letter, a pick-me up, a pep-talk, note to yourself. Ideally, wait long enough to open it that you won’t recall what you wrote, then allow yourself to be surprised, touched, proud, grateful…

The ManKind Project’s New Warrior Training Adventure

This weekend I attended the Graduation and Homecoming event for the New Warrior Training Adventure weekend I completed two weeks ago. It is a powerful, transformative event put on by The ManKind Project. I made before and after videos and dedicated an episode of the Real Men Feel podcast to it as well. You can dig in to all of that goodness right here. That episode has quickly become the most popular show we’ve done yet and I’ve heard feedback from men, and a couple of women, from all over the world.

I really can’t recommend the New Warrior Training Adventure enough. At homecoming I got to witness what partners and spouses have seen in their men since they’ve returned and got to learn more about all the amazing thinks MKP is up to. There is even a women’s version of the weekend called Women Within.

I attended the NWTA weekend to gain some clarity over my own work with men and whether Real Men Feel was really something worth continuing with. The work I experienced and witnessed, along with the overwhelming feedback I’ve received via email, online and in-person regarding the podcast has left me with no doubt about my mission.

I also learned my animal name, Fun-Loving Chipmunk, which I am enjoying more every day.

Fun-Living Chipmunk

My man card, or rather my New Warrior certificate.

Man Certification

I cannot encourage men to explore the ManKind Project strongly enough, and women please check out Women Within. It isn’t just a female version, it is a weekend created by and for women. There is also program for boys and one for men behind bars.

I’ll be volunteering at the next New Warrior Training Adventure being held in Massachusetts in March 2017. I hope to see you there.

Expectations and Disappointments

It’s been over a month since I’ve done a video. I don’t like going that long, but sometimes going with the flow of life means dealing with things you don’t like. Such as the way this video keeps freezing towards the end of it, perhaps my trusty old Mac isn’t as trusty as she once was.

Regardless, the point of the message remains. Be willing to have an uncomfortable conversation. Most people don’t like to talk about death, most don’t like to talk about money either, but talking about both can be one of the most important conversations you ever have with your family.

Be good to yourself,

Here’s a brief taste of Arches National Park, Utah

Delicate Arch

Delicate Arch, Arches National Park, Utah



Double Arch

Double Arch, Utah

FU: I Love You

The first time I ever did a “fuck you, I love you” post it was how I signed off on a video after a friend seemed to die by suicide. It was unplanned wording that perfectly reflected how I was feeling. I used it again in a video after Robin William’s suicide (wow, two years ago for both). In each case, I was saying that I loved them, the person, but I was pissed at how they went out. The “fuck you” was to suicide.

I find myself thinking those same seemingly opposed thoughts, fuck you and I love you, in regards to my father. I wrote a post earlier today for called Strong Enough to Be Sad (read it now if you want to be fully up to speed before proceeding. It’s short and I’ll wait.).

I often tell my coaching clients that they can love someone and still be angry, annoyed, bitter, resentful or frustrated with them. Unconditional love doesn’t mean you don’t also have other emotions, it means beneath all the other emotions, even the so-called ‘negative’ ones, there is love. Unconditional love for yourself means loving you even when you can’t stand you.

Today I brought my dad to see his oncologist for an appointment that we both knew meant cancer was back. He’s already had surgery to remove cancer from his colon and kidneys. While sitting in the waiting room today, he noticed writing on my wrist. He said, “I know I’ve asked before, but what does that say?”

On my left wrist is my first tattoo, which I got six years ago this month. Getting it was a pretty big deal. The incidents that inspired it had me interviewed on CNN and ABC’s Nightline. My dad knew all of this because he lived through it all too.

He was now asking me again what it says on my wrist. No big deal I thought. “It says GRATEFUL,” I told him. His response was a new one. He said, “Jesus Christ, what a faker!’ and stared at me with a slight smirk like he was waiting for me to laugh or react, I’m not really sure.Grateful

I wanted to reply with a hearty, “I hope you die alone on the streets,” and walk out. Instead I turned away, took a slow deep breath, reminded myself that in his dementia-ravaged and scared mind, that was the best he could do for a nervous joke to pass the time. I muttered, “Fuck you, I love you.”

During the appointment we discovered he has multiple growing cancers in his lungs, liver and stomach. Fuck you, I love you.


Paul Selig: The Live Experience

Paul SeligFor a couple of years numerous people had been telling me to check out Paul Selig. I read he was an author and channeler and just didn’t really care about that stuff. Finally late last year I bought his first book, I Am the Word, had it for a few weeks before I started reading it and was immediately blown away. Reading the book was truly an energetic experience. I’ve since recommended that book to many people and they’ve all reported very powerful experiences too. Then I noticed that for years Paul had been coming to Circles of Wisdom, a place that I often teach at myself. I cursed myself for all the missed opportunities to see him. Well he’s back in town this weekend and I’m there.

Today was day 1 of a weekend long event and I’m intentionally sharing now because I’ll need to cut out a bit early to catch the Paul McCartney concert at Fenway Park on Sunday Night. I’m calling this my Weekend of Pauls. Anyway…. the live experience of Mr. Selig is Out-Fuckin-Standing! If you have enjoyed any book, live stream, YouTube video, or anything from Paul Selig, I urge you to make it a point to experience his work live.

If you haven’t experienced Paul, check him out on YouTube. I know a few people who channel, but I’ve never come across anyone that does it quite like Paul. He speaks each thing he hears as he receives it in a bit of a low murmur, then says it louder for everyone to hear, so it is a sort of echoing experience. It can take some getting used to, but after a few minutes live it just seems normal.

One thing that has me resonate so much with what Paul’s Guides teach is how in sync they are with my own work in the Akashic Records. Readings I do for myself and others often match something that I hear from Paul. In-person, that resonance and recognition is even stronger. The energy, the love, the… level of Truth is honestly something I can sense. It is a certainty of knowing that I can’t properly explain. But it is good, very good. By the lunch break my cheeks hurt from smiling so much all morning and I was so energized I wanted to go hit the gym instead of eat lunch.

Much of the time is lectured material that Paul channels live from The Guides, as well as powerful energetic attunements, practices and exercises with partners. Plus, heavy doses of questions and answers which can often be as helpful, or more so, than the original lectured material. I even got to address The Guides about my dad who suffers from dementia. Paul stepped into my energy and then my dad’s, giving me the perspective from both of us on the situation. A very unique experience.

WordAt the end of the day, when Paul signed my copy of I Am The Word he handed it back with a bit of a smile. In every picture of Paul I’ve seen, he doesn’t smile. I said, “Hey, you do smile!” and his smile broadened. He said people on Facebook criticize him for not smiling. I noticed that he said it with a smile, so relax Facebook, Paul can smile.

Update: I was only able to be around for the 1st half of day two, which was all channeled lectured – some of it brand new content – and the beginning of individual questions being asked. The easiest way I can sum up today for me is resonance and validation. I’ll certainly be seeing Paul Selig again, but for now I’m on to Paul McCartney.

I am here. I am here. I am here.