Am I Racist?

I’ve long said that we are all racist.

Nobody wants to own up to being a fully conscious, angry, attacking racist, but racism is much more than that. I can say that I am a racist because I’m sure there are ways I treat people of color differently than white people. I might like to pretend that I’m not aware of them. But I am aware of some habits (laughing at racial jokes, being more on guard around black men, avoiding “bad” areas). Because I’m a nice guy, I and other whites don’t call that racist.

Racism is a spectrum. It isn’t only evil acts of violence against people of color. It is a slight, a joke, a judgment you don’t even realize you made. It’s moving your wallet into a front pocket before nearing certain groups or halting a conversation until someone is out of earshot. It is insidious. If we aren’t willing to acknowledge it, to be more aware of it, it will never be gone.

For my podcast, Real Men Feel, I recently did an episode with Chris Miller called What Can White People Do About Racism? Perhaps naively, some comments surprised me.

A few of the first Facebook comments included:

“I find the suggestion that white men should do something about racism, highly offensive.”
“In the first country to abolish slavery within 150 years of existence?”
“I am pissed off with all this talk about white racism.”

There were many more mentioning the end of slavery, crimes against whites, and just being sick and tired of talking about racism. I’m pretty sure most of those initial dozen comments were from people only reacting to the title and who never listened to the show.

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The feedback made me finally read, White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism. A book I’d heard mentioned many times and that my wife had encouraged me to read for months. Had I read this book before doing the podcast, I could have written most of the defensive comments ahead of time with tremendous accuracy.

By the end of White Fragility, it can feel like white people can’t and shouldn’t say anything ever again. Everything is offensive to somebody. Issues of race run deep and consist of many different layers. Reading White Fragility is discovering there is a Grand Canyon of racism in you.

The harsh, good/evil line defining racism makes us comfortable but also keeps us in it. Pointing to a solitary, violent act and calling it racism is easy. It is much more challenging to see the subtle ways I operate as a racist.

It is tough to say I liked reading White Fragility. I am glad I read it, but it is challenging and upsetting. I was, at times, defensive, dismissive, and in agreement. Everything besides agreeing is in alignment with the book’s premise, so any reaction you have can be seen as proving the point, or you can use it as fuel for your denial that it is all nonsense.

Ideally, over time perhaps, you’ll soften while reading it. I’m not even going to talk about the content of the book more, because it will most likely just trigger you and make you not want to read it.

I found reading this book is best as a solitary, private experience giving you time to pause and examine your own experiences, beliefs, and reactions to what you read.

The unconscious biases of white people have been enforced for centuries. Uncovering them is not pleasurable, but I do believe it can make a better world for all people. White Americans have been socialized to embrace so many ideologies that keep racism intact. Before you change anything, you have to become aware of it.

If you are willing to dig deep, be challenged, and be wrong about many of your thoughts and actions over the years, I recommend reading this.

I’m glad I didn’t read White Fragility when I first heard of it. I don’t believe I would have been as open to receiving it without first having been part of many public discussions about race on a variety of podcasts in the past few months.

As a coach and life-long student, I can’t pretend to guess how many times I’ve heard that to grow, we need to get out of our comfort zone. NOT talking about race is a huge comfort zone for white people. We all need to be willing to be uncomfortable but know that we are safe in doing so. It takes effort. Hopefully, we give becoming more aware of our conscious and unconscious racism effort. But our privilege as white people is that we don’t have to.

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Photo by John Cameron on Unsplash

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About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Healer, and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities, and Ritual Master with the Modern Mystery School.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing. He is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups and is a contributor to the GoodMenProject. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel. He is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be.

Learn How Easily You Can Be a Published Author at Circles of Wisdom on March 30

Introduction to eBook Publishing with Andy Grant

Circles of Wisdom, Andover, Massachusetts
Register at: circlesofwisdom.com/workshops/events-workshops/sp/introduction-to-ebook-publishing/
Date: Thursday, March 30, 2017
Time: 7:00 pm – 9:30 pm

Now is your time to join the ranks of international best-selling authors. Really! This is more than possible as a result of attending Introduction to eBook Publishing.

This evening workshop is for anyone who has thought about writing a book. With so many people now reading from electronic devices instead of actually purchasing books the world of eBooks is exploding. In addition, publishing your own eBook is so much easier than the often long and drawn-out process of publishing a traditional book.

In this class we’ll explore:

  • Why you should want to write an eBook
  • Differences between eBooks and traditional books
  • How to get world’s biggest store working for you
  • Formats, tools, & templates
  • And much more

Join me for this enlightening class as we learn more about the many advantages of eBook Publishing on Thursday March 30, 2017.

Hope to see you soon!
Andy

Circles of Wisdom, Andover, Massachusetts
Register at: circlesofwisdom.com/workshops/events-workshops/sp/introduction-to-ebook-publishing/
Date: Thursday, March 30, 2017
Time: 7:00 pm – 9:30 pm

Talking Suicide and “Still Here” with Dr. Stem

Enjoying Life Is The Best Suicide Prevention Tool There IsLast week I had the privilege of being on the Dr. Stem Show – Living Fearlessly Outloud on Radio Outloud with Dr. Stem Mahlatini. We discussed my experiences with depression and suicide attempts as well as some of the lessons in my book, Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing At Suicide.

From The Show:
Suicide is a tragic event with strong emotional repercussions for its survivors and for families of its victims. In 2014 there were  more than 42,000 people in the U.S. who killed themselves, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, making it the 10th leading cause of death overall. The numbers are astounding and a reminder that LIFE is precious. With enough education, empowerment, and encouragement our guest Andy Grant reminds us that enjoying and living life fearlessly out loud is the best suicide prevention.

The annual age-adjusted suicide rate is 12.93 per 100,000 individuals. Men die by suicide 3.5x more often than women. On average, there are 117 suicides per day. White males accounted for 7 of 10 suicides in 2014. From 1999 to 2014, suicide rates in the United States rose among most age groups. Men and women from 45 to 64 had a sharp increase. Rates fell among those age 75 and older. The increases were so widespread that they lifted the nation’s suicide rate to 13 per 100,000 people, the highest since 1986 a concern that needs to be addressed as we face the holiday season.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. Andy is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Andy believes happiness is a learnable skill and no matter what has happened in the past, no matter how we feel right now, we are all capable of feeling happier and enjoying our lives even more.

“Enjoying life is the best suicide prevention tool there is.” Andy Grant

For Further Insight:
Follow Andy on Twitter
Connect on Facebook
Books: Amazon.com/author/AndyGrant
Andy’s Real Men Feel Podcast: Real Men Feel on iTunes

If you are in an emotional crisis PLEASE do not hesitate to reach out for help, now! Call 1-800-273-TALK in the United States. Visit suicide.org for international numbers.

Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing at Suicide Available for Kindle and Paperback

Still Here book coverI have been so thrilled and blown away by the early reaction to my latest book, Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing at Suicide. It hit the Amazon best seller list in the US, Canada, UK and Australia and has been called “astonishing” “a must read” “raw inspiration” and “powerful and life-changing.”

Still Here is available as a Kindle eBook and in paperback.

Here is a small sample of the reviews.

“Where does the doubt and darkness come from? How do you cope and endure? Andy’s story isn’t a tidy tale wrapped up with a bow. He faced ups and downs. He documents everything, along with all the ways he’s mounted his comeback. A reader might be frustrated in Andy’s inability to name one main problem or one best solution in his battles. But this is real life and real writing.” ~A Reader in Iowa

OUTSTANDING! As an Emergency Medicine physician, I see MANY many people contemplating suicide. I will recommend this to them all!
This book is a MUST read for every doctor, and ANYone who has ever had even the slightest of anxiety or hopelessness about anything.” ~Dr. Kim D’Eramo

“Regardless of the level or degree to which we have personally dealt with any of these feelings, the fact remains that ultimately we desire to feel and live happier and more fulfilled lives. If you agree, this book will serve you well. It sure has served me well.” ~CLB

“What an astonishing book – Andy Grant has opened up a doorway into the deepest darkest place any person could go and has illuminated that space with radiant light and masterful tools for navigating.  Thank you Andy for your courage and your commitment to being a channel for change.” ~Amethyst Wyldfyre

“I feel anyone would benefit from the knowledge and wisdom within these pages whether or not suicide or serious depression has touched your life.” ~Sheree A. Henry

“Still Here by Andy Grant, is an amazingly motivating and uplifting book.

This book contains the most important tips and methods that Andy has used to defeat his problems. Whether you or anyone you know is suffering from depression or suicide thoughts, or is influenced by those two things in any way – you will find help in this book.

The book is well written in a great, casual, blunt tone that makes it feel like Andy is right there, helping you out.” ~James H. Mayfield

More Reviews of Still Here

https://tomowenswriter.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/andy-grants-still-here-suicide-memoir-is-raw-inspiration/
http://www.jameshmayfield.com/book-review-still-here-by-andy-grant/

From Suicide Attempt Survivor to Oscar Winner!

Sunday night at the 87th Academy Awards, first time Oscar award winner for Adapted Screenplay, Graham Moore gave the most dramatic speech. He publicly announced that he had tried to kill himself at the age of 16 and urged everyone to stay weird and different.

Graham said,”When I was 16 years old, I tried to kill myself because I felt weird, and I felt different, and I felt like I did not belong. And, now I’m standing here. So, I would like this moment to be for that kid out there who feels like she’s weird, or she’s different, or she feels like she doesn’t fit in anywhere. Yes, you do. I promise you do. Stay weird. Stay different. And, then when it’s your turn, and you are standing on this stage, please pass the same message to the next person who comes along.”

When I was growing up I was called weird, was told I had weird friends and was picked on, but I had a saying, “Weird friends are the fun of life!” 

I’m touched to see more people coming forward, sharing their struggles and taking the stigma away from talking about suicide. I’m more thrilled to hear stories like Grahams’. Tales of people who choose life and just rock it out.

I am glad we are all still here. For this to be in the news as my book Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing At Suicide is released feels like such powerful synchronicity to me.

By the way, Graham Moore won the Oscar for, The Imitation Game, which is a great movie and well worth seeing if you haven’t. I’ve watched it twice myself. Graham even wrote a line of dialogue in the movie the was very much of the same spirit as his speech, “it’s the very people who no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine.” Indeed.