Welcome to another thrilling episode of Sharing With Andy, today we explore the reactions to the previous big hit, I’m Such a Loser.
When you find yourself triggered, by anything:
Pause.
Breathe.
Then ask yourself: What am I reacting to?
Post a comment. Let me know what you think.
~Andy
Have you ever said that to yourself?
Time for another fine episode of Sharing With Andy.
Watch and understand.
Are there things in your life that you use to judge yourself, blame yourself, even condemn yourself over?
What sort of sweeping generalizations, that don’t support you, are you making in your life?
Wouldn’t today be a great day to stop?
Post a comment. Let me know what you think.
~Andy
I’m seeing so many people caught up in arguing and fighting over labels and blame in the aftermath of Robin William’s death that I felt compelled to share a lesson I’ve learned in my life.
First off, in case you don’t know; I am a suicide attempt survivor. Actually, I’m a survivor of multiple suicide attempts. I’ve been in and out of more mental hospitals than I’d ever want to admit to. I used to try to answer questions about why, and how did it feel. Others would struggle to comprehend my answers. Many times I would be angered when I heard people call suicide a cowardly or selfish decision. Now, I’m glad when others don’t understand. Because it means they’ve never felt as emotionally low as I have. There is no need to convince them of anything. I simply ask them to appreciate that suicide makes no sense to them. I let them know I’m envious that they can’t grasp these dark sensations.
If you’ve never felt so bad that you seriously contemplated ending your life or took actions to do so, you won’t know how it feels. There aren’t enough words, interviews, or media sound bites to get that horrid feeling across to someone who hasn’t experienced it themselves.
Good. I want to live in a world where fewer people know those dark feelings and impulses. But we can all allow others to feel however they do without falling to name calling, labeling and blaming. Offer some compassion to those struggling with issues that you are not familiar with.
Suicide and depression isn’t a character defect or something someone just decides to turn off/on when they feel like it.
It is senseless, not selfish.
It is hopeless, not cowardly.
Sometimes, it just is.
When I was suicidal I thought friends and family would be better off without me. Sure, I knew there would be some initial pain, shock and grief, but I believed that over time everyone would be in a better place without gloomy old depressed me around. It did not feel selfish. I had a distorted perception that I was helping others by vanishing.
If you can’t fathom, feel, or even empathize with depression, anxiety or any mental illness – it’s OK. Be glad. Celebrate that.
But please don’t argue with or put down people doing their best to live with it, or those that can’t manage to live with it.
What is the point of arguing over something you know nothing about?
When I was 18 years old, I was certain that anyone who said they were happy was lying. I believed that anyone who took an honest look at the world and at their lives would see that life sucked. Often times I tried to convince people that suicide was the only logical thing to do. I was wrong. I am thrilled to have been so wrong.
Nobody’s beliefs change by being badgered and argued with. Our perceptions change over time, based on our experiences, based on what works and doesn’t work for us. We can all choose new beliefs, but arguing with someone over their beliefs or yours is a fool’s game.
What is more important to you, to be right or to be happy?
You can disagree with me. You can mock this post.
I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m right, I’d rather be happy.
To all my fellow attempt survivors, to everyone ever labeled with a mental illness, I invite you to not try to explain the unexplainable. Do not attempt to convince, justify, or defend actions rooted in pain and hopelessness. That merely drains your time and energy. Instead, be glad that someone else doesn’t know your pain. I understand that this isn’t easy, but give it a try.
If you hear someone call Robin Williams a coward, or if you read an article or post saying that anyone who has killed themselves or tried is selfish, don’t try and prove your views are right or change theirs. I encourage you to say to yourself; “They’ve never been there, they don’t get it. Good for them.” And move on.
Be good to yourself.
With love and respect,
Andy Grant
Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
It is horribly ironic that one of Robin’s most amazing films, and not a comedy at all, is “What Dreams May Come” which has a plot centered on the suicide of a spouse and a journey into the afterlife. It is quite a beautiful and striking film.
If you are struggling with depression, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
My month long InfoFast has come to a close. Now we sing and dance while pondering what we have learned.
Is there something you do that gives you the illusion of being busy, but it isn’t actually productive?
Do you do things that give you a sense of busyness, but they don’t really get you closer to your goals?