The Interview That Ended My Policy of Always Saying Yes

For years, I’ve had a standing policy of saying yes to every opportunity to speak. After dropping out of college to avoid a mandatory public speaking class, I’ve since agreed to be on everything from public access television to CNN and ABC’s Nightline, along with countless podcasts, radio shows, and internet programs. That has come to an end courtesy of Jesse Lee Peterson.

Here’s what I said on Facebook the day I was on his show, January 27, 2021.

The Aftermath

That afternoon and night, my YouTube videos we besieged by name-calling and insults – some of which I found to be hilarious. I discovered Jesse had a large following and spouted all sorts of things I don’t align with at all, which is why I’d never heard of him.

The most challenging thing was not to answer back. To just let the hate sit there. Some of the commenters were reported, and YouTube quickly deleted the worst comments. When I found the original interview on JLP’s channel with over 600 ripping me, I was amazed at how easily I could stop reading them and move on. The next morning I was interviewed for an online summit: Embody Your Masculine Summit. That launches later in February, and I felt that balance had been restored to the Force. 🙂

Amid all the attacks online, some light did come through in a handful of messages, comments, and tweets:
“I just watched your interview on Jesse Lee Peterson show and wanted to say keep doing what you are doing and I agree with everything you said 100%.”

I’m not going to link to my appearance as I don’t want to introduce his sewage to more people, but it is just a YouTube search away if you really want to see it.

On Sunday, January 31, I shared this update.

Honestly, this has been a fantastic experience.

The contrast of being attacked online by people who seem to think that’s what a true man does, and spending the weekend in a live virtual event with Mary Morrissey, DreamBuilder Live, gave me such a clear path and choice. All the men living in pain and fear, who think that is the best they can do, makes me truly sad, but it also inspires me. The few brave souls who reached out to thank me for what I shared and to keep going won’t be forgotten.

Thanks to my friend, Jenny, I now ask, “What’s your angle?” when someone asks me to be on their program.

The only opinion of you that matters is your own.

Be good to yourself,
Andy

 

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Photo by camilo jimenez on Unsplash

Recent Guest Appearances

I continue to be honored with many invites to appear on various podcasts and be part of online events.

On January 12, I was on the Unveiled Podcast as part of a panel on Unlocking Men.
Jordan Bain, Andy Grant, Matthew Koren, and Bradford White discuss what it can mean to unlock men, to help men grow emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and in relationships. You can see it with all the original comments on Facebook. I’ve heard from a number of men and women that this was a conversation they got a lot of insight from.

Unlocking Men

The day before the above show, I was a guest on The Recovery Channel Podcast with Dr. Robb Kelly and Jennifer Lovely. Dr. Robb was a guest on Real Men Feel last October for an episode on The Alcoholic Brain. His co-host Jennifer will be a guest next month offering her perspective on raising you men.

While the pandemic has slowed my training and growth, it hasn’t stopped it.

This month I became certified in Ensofic Reiki, this is from The Modern Mystery School and is the closest to what was handed down to Mikao Usui on Mount Kurama as you can get. If you are in the Littleton, Massachusetts area and want to experience the Cadillac of Reiki, let me know.

Ensofic Reiki

It is the growth and expansion of each soul that feeds the expansion of the Universe.

Be good to yourself,
Andy

 

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Ancestral Healing

I went for seven months without a blog post this year. Not because so little was happening, but because so much was. I’ve been sharing what I’ve been up to mostly via my Real Men Feel podcast and social media. This year has been nothing short of monumental when it comes to my personal and spiritual growth.

2019 kicked off with a fantastic trip to Israel and Jordan in February. Then, I began one of the most challenging paths someone can choose with the Ritual Master program from the Modern Mystery School. The class part of it started in May, but the energies started stirring up long before that.

Indeed my first day home from vacation in February, fear, and dread started. I was quite terrified that I’d made a mistake and that I was going to discover something horrible. I did a couple of Real Men Feel shows about it in March; When The Going Gets Tough and Feeling The Fears.

I did make it to Toronto, the international headquarters of the Modern Mystery School, in May for the Ritual Master 1 class and initiation. There was a lot of talk about suicide during the program. I felt relief. I felt better.Ritual Master

But the day after my Ritual Master initiation, I was having suicidal thoughts.

Over the next few months, I dared those darkest thoughts to consume me. I stopped doing all the things that made me feel better. I stopped doing my rituals that keep shitty thoughts away or ended them quickly when they show up. I didn’t just give up; I challenged the evil to do whatever it wanted.

I had been booked for a solo adventure to Mt Kilimanjaro in Tanzania in late June. In meditation last year, I got that I needed to make a trip on my own, to climb a mountain. Probably not the way most people select their vacations, but hey – that’s me.

As it got closer, I wasn’t looking forward to it. In fact, I had a strong sense that I wouldn’t return. That’s beating around the bush. I had been researching ways I could die while in Africa.

My meditation was correct; I just had the wrong mountain.

During this time, my guide suggested an ancestral healing. It was actually mentioned back in May. I knew I needed it. When I’d first heard of an ancestral healing from a Facebook post last November, I knew I was going to have to do it someday. I wasn’t prepared for someday to be so soon.

Others agreeing that I needed an ancestral healing scared me. Who or what would I be if suicidal thoughts were genuinely gone for good? I thought I’d been done with them numerous times already. Maybe it wasn’t possible? The healing was also a substantial financial commitment, but I finally decided I was worth the investment. What good is saving some money if it costs my life?

On July 1st I decided enough was enough and shared on Facebook how bad I’d been doing. By July 4th I decided I would do this ancestral healing process and I began to feel the best I had all year. You can see what I shared at that time here: Real Men Talk. The decision to live and the decision to heal continued to have me feeling great.

In August, I flew to Toronto and met with Founder Gudni Gudnason of the Modern Mystery School for an in-person ancestral scan and reading. He traced the suicidal energies back through many generations for the origin of this evil in my family.

Founder Gudni determined that the Naugatuck CT grave of my great grandmother, who killed herself before I was born, would be the access point for these energies to be dealt with. For the next three months, people I’d never met in Taiwan and Japan prayed and did rituals for my benefit. What amazed me was that I could feel it. I felt supported in a way I never had before.

I was joyous, excited, and looking forward to things.

The healing was going to culminate in early November at a cemetery in Connecticut. For much of October, I was often getting vicious headaches lasting up to 36 hours. Aside from that, I continued to feel upbeat. 

The night before I was to drive to Connecticut, a whirlwind of anger and fury hit me. I had flashbacks to so many nights of wishing I was dead. All the worst times of my life were flashing before my eyes, fully in the span of a few minutes.

A friend who had done this process last year got me settled down and accompanied me throughout this adventure. We met up with the rest of the team, some driving up from New York and Ipsissimus Hideto joining us from Japan. All the while, still supported by remote people in Taiwan and even Hollywood.

Ipsissimus Hideto and AndyI can’t attempt to explain what happened at that gravesite. I just focused on my part, and I swore I kept hearing someone say my name and seeing shapes moving about from the corners of my eyes. I distinctly recall one moment when an old Kiss song started playing in my head. It stood out because it was the first time any music entered my mind all day. A minute later, Ipsissimus Hideto said, “It is done.”

Now, the training wheels are off.

I still feel fantastic. Lighter, freer, I feel a stronger sense of service, mission, and that I’m indeed supposed to be here more than ever before.

In mid-November, I returned home from Toronto and my second initiation on the Ritual Master path, which is a multi-year journey. My healing work and service to others have never been stronger. I’ve never been more proud of myself. 

I can feel the benefits of clearing that dark energy not only in me but everyone around me, even in all of my ancestors. Words can’t convey how I know that, so I won’t try, but I feel like Divine Grace touched me, and the blessing radiates out in ways I don’t yet comprehend.

This year has felt a decade long. I honestly wasn’t sure I was going to make it at times. I was pretty sure I didn’t want to make it plenty of times too. But I’m also glad, thrilled, to have been so wrong.

Much love to you,
Andy

 

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Ten Months of Kabbalah

I still can’t explain it very well

This weekend I’m at a retreat that is culminating a 10-month journey with Universal Kabbalah from the Modern Mystery School. It has been astounding, heartbreaking, fun, infuriating, and every other emotion in between them.

I have great difficulting in clearly explaining spiritual and experiential happenings at times, but I do my best.

As one example of the life-changing potential in Kabbalah: Last June I was in such a precarious financial condition that my wife and I were paying our bills thanks to yard sales, while less than 18 months later, I’m driving a new Tesla.

Please enjoy my rambling, foul-mouthed, attempt to describe the last 10 months of Kabbalah.

 

Wonder what I said back at the start of this? Me too. Let’s find out.

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This was originally published on GoodMenProject.com

Venturing into the Unknown

Kabbalah is an ancient wisdom that reveals how the universe and life work.

Today I begin a 10-month personal growth program called Universal Kabbalah. I don’t know much about it, which is how I like to roll into new explorations of my self. I do know that Kabbalah is rooted in Jewish mysticism and most people might never have heard of it before Madonna started studying it in the 1990s.

Kabbalah is an ancient wisdom that reveals how the universe and life work. On a literal level, the word Kabbalah means “receiving.” Studying this knowledge empowers us to improve our lives by discovering our purpose, and achieve the lasting fulfillment we are meant to receive. I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty sweet to me.

Universal Kabbalah is the version taught by the Modern Mystery School. I became an Initiate in the Modern Mystery School in March of 2016 and learned numerous tools and techniques that I use on a daily basis. Regarding Kabbalah, the mystery school removed the most strictly religious aspects of it to make the core wisdom available to people of all faiths. It is more of a metaphysical teaching than religion, which is another reason this particular program appealed to me.

Wikipedia states:

Kabbalah’s definition varies according to the tradition and aims of those following it, from its religious origin as an integral part of Judaism, to its later Christian, New Age, and Occultist/western esoteric syncretic adaptations. Kabbalah is a set of esoteric teachings meant to explain the relationship between an unchanging, eternal, and mysterious Ein Sof (infinity) and the mortal and finite universe (God’s creation). While it is heavily used by some denominations, it is not a religious denomination in itself. It forms the foundations of mystical religious interpretation. Kabbalah seeks to define the nature of the universe and the human being, the nature and purpose of existence, and various other ontological questions. It also presents methods to aid understanding of the concepts and thereby attain spiritual realization.

While the Modern Mystery School describes their flavor as:

The Universal Kabbalah is the purest form of metaphysical study available on this planet. Focused on understanding the fundamental basis of all creation, it’s goal is to reveal the purpose of our existence and to give us tools for reclaiming our birthright as co-creators on this planet. Through this study we come to the realization of who and what we are, fulfilling the ancient decree: Know Thyself!

Kabbalah is focused around The Tree of Life, which is the blueprint of one’s entire being. In ascending the Tree, the design of life itself is explained and influenced so that we can entirely transform ourselves inside and out. Kabbalah isn’t merely philosophy; there are practical techniques and applications for daily life.

Again, this is what I’ve been told and read. I have not yet had my own experience to agree or disagree, but I’m very much looking forward to my experience over the course of the program. Many people take this program over and over, right now I’ll settle for getting through it once.

I know quite a few people who have gone through this 10-month program. Many have described it as painful and horrible while the ends results are breathtaking, healing and powerful.

The most common metaphor is “crossing the abyss.” I’m going through it with my wife, which I’m told can make it more horrible and also more beneficial. So we’ve got that to look forward to.

I’ll take one more deep breath before I dive into the abyss. I’m sure I’ll share some updates along the way. Stay tuned.

Learn more at:
HealingBoston.com
ModernMysterySchoolInt.com