Posts

Staffing My First NWTA (New Warrior Adventure Training)

/0 Comments/in , /by

This weekend I took part in staffing a New Warrior Training Adventure weekend. This is the very event that I completed as an initiate less than five months ago. It is a powerful, transformative weekend put on by The ManKind Project. If I was in charge of the world, it would be mandatory training for all men.

Staffing was fun, challenging, awe-inspiring, emotional, and so much more. I saw many familiar faces from my original weekend, both men who staffed it and some new brothers who went through it with me. Some men had seen my videos and podcasts, so I got to be the center of attention at times, and also witness and observe many powerful moments. On the final day I had the opportunity to bring a lot of laughter to the weekend, which was a total blast.

I honestly cannot recommend the New Warrior Training Adventure enough. I will be definitely be staffing again. There is even a women’s version of the weekend called Women Within.

Proud and honored to be, Fun-Loving Chipmunk. As a man among men, I love unconditionally.

Fun-Living Chipmunk

Check out the Real Men Feel episode where I shared my experience going thru the NWTA weekend last October. Real Men Feel 32: New Warrior Training Adventure Report.

The (Not So) Evil Stepmother

/6 Comments/in /by

Today has been a long day, ending a challenging time for my family. As someone who often speaks of authenticity and founded Real Men Feel, this is one of those videos I knew I had to make.

For Marilyn

I-LOVE-YOU-beautiful-pictures-31167221-900-644

FU: I Love You

/1 Comment/in , /by

The first time I ever did a “fuck you, I love you” post it was how I signed off on a video after a friend seemed to die by suicide. It was unplanned wording that perfectly reflected how I was feeling. I used it again in a video after Robin William’s suicide (wow, two years ago for both). In each case, I was saying that I loved them, the person, but I was pissed at how they went out. The “fuck you” was to suicide.

I find myself thinking those same seemingly opposed thoughts, fuck you and I love you, in regards to my father. I wrote a post earlier today for RealMenFeel.org called Strong Enough to Be Sad (read it now if you want to be fully up to speed before proceeding. It’s short and I’ll wait.).

I often tell my coaching clients that they can love someone and still be angry, annoyed, bitter, resentful or frustrated with them. Unconditional love doesn’t mean you don’t also have other emotions, it means beneath all the other emotions, even the so-called ‘negative’ ones, there is love. Unconditional love for yourself means loving you even when you can’t stand you.

Today I brought my dad to see his oncologist for an appointment that we both knew meant cancer was back. He’s already had surgery to remove cancer from his colon and kidneys. While sitting in the waiting room today, he noticed writing on my wrist. He said, “I know I’ve asked before, but what does that say?”

On my left wrist is my first tattoo, which I got six years ago this month. Getting it was a pretty big deal. The incidents that inspired it had me interviewed on CNN and ABC’s Nightline. My dad knew all of this because he lived through it all too.

He was now asking me again what it says on my wrist. No big deal I thought. “It says GRATEFUL,” I told him. His response was a new one. He said, “Jesus Christ, what a faker!’ and stared at me with a slight smirk like he was waiting for me to laugh or react, I’m not really sure.Grateful

I wanted to reply with a hearty, “I hope you die alone on the streets,” and walk out. Instead I turned away, took a slow deep breath, reminded myself that in his dementia-ravaged and scared mind, that was the best he could do for a nervous joke to pass the time. I muttered, “Fuck you, I love you.”

During the appointment we discovered he has multiple growing cancers in his lungs, liver and stomach. Fuck you, I love you.

fuck-you2I-LOVE-YOU-beautiful-pictures-31167221-900-644

Communicating with Sadie

/1 Comment/in /by

When we lost our dog Homer suddenly 3 1/2 years ago, I ended up talking with an animal communicator for the first time and it was a very cool and healing experience. I talk about that much more in my book, Homer the Hound Dog’s Guide to Happiness: 6 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dog.

Six months after Homer passed I saw a video online from the Sterling Animal Shelter, where we had gotten Homer and my wife volunteered at, featuring a 3 legged dog named Sadie. I saw Sadie bouncing around, playing; the very embodiment of resilience and joy. I immediately text my wife and said I’ve found our next dog.

SadieWe’ve had Sadie for 3 years now and in recent months she’s started a new thing of staying outside very late. I’m talking until 1am even 2am and beyond on some occasions. We live in a rural, wooded area with turkey, deer, coyote and even more critters. Sadie will go outside on her own (we have an invisible dog fence) around 8 or 9pm and sometimes stay out. I’ll see her at 11pm and midnight sitting in the backyard survey everything. We’ll call her to come inside and she looks right at us and runs away. Often on these nights we’ll hear coyotes and Sadie stays outside, as if on patrol.

When I tuned into her energetically, I’d get that she’s protecting us. She thinks she’s standing guard for us to keep the coyotes away or when they come into the yard she (thankfully!) runs to the front door, sometimes slamming into it, to sound the alarm, or say “let me in!” I’d been wanting to somehow tell her we don’t need or want her to stay out all night.

Coincidentally, I recently met Diana van Trijffel-Pak an animal communicator, and it dawned on me to ask her about Sadie. Let me back up a bit, in my first encounter with Diana I didn’t know she was an animal communicator. She came to me for an Akashic Records Reading. When I opened her records it was like I’d stepped on to Noah’s Ark – that is how I discovered she was an animal communicator!

So, I decided to ask Diana to give Sadie a reading and inquire about these long nights outside. Turns out my intuition was right. Sadie is out there protecting us, consciously choosing to do so. The new information – which moved me to tears – is that Sadie does hear my requests for her to stop, but she refuses to. We rescued her and she feels obligated to rescue us now. Cue the dog-loving water works 🙂  I love my crazy three-legged protection.

Here is the full message we got from Sadie thru Diana.

When I tune into her I get a feeling of unsafe. Need for protection.
When actually contacting her: Tension in her body. Her home. Nobody touches me or my family. Have to be strong! Even stronger than my four legged family members.
 
She is funny. Like this child who is like: I can do this. Watch me. Kid in superman cloak. HaHaaaa…., here I come! Superwoman in this case. Protecting land and home.
Those pesky doglike things out there. Coyotes you call them? They are like chickens. Hahaaaa!
The only thing is they sometimes come in pairs of groups. That’s tricky. But usually I just do my superwoman act and they are off. Hahaaa!
I tell her you don’t want her to do that.
But, but. I have to protect right? Like they saved and rescued me. Protected me. Want to do something in return. She is not very willing to let this go.
 
Suddenly she asks if you could also do that Akashic thing for her. I tell her that I don’t know, if they are done for animals. I suppose it could be done. I tell her to pass on the request.
 
She really, really, really loves living with you. Feeling so loved and accepted.
I do feel a little discomfort in her lower back. Maybe a compensation thing going on. Could have her checked out by an osteopath or any other animal therapist every now and then. Massages/Reiki/Cranial, things like that. Acupuncture maybe even.
She doesn’t miss her leg at all, but it could be having an effect on her physique. She is still young so if you start with that now she will benefit from it as she gets older.
 
She is amazing.

Yes, she is amazing! And I can open Akashic Records of animals – someone even asked me about this today! I’ve been hesitant to do so because unlike with a human there isn’t a way to get any validation (at least that is my assumption). I’ll make an attempt soon and share what happens.

Oh, if you follow me on my Facebook Page or Instagram you’ll see I pull a card each morning to share with the world. Seems Sadie likes that too.

Here is more from Diana/Sadie.

Sadie actually wanted a card for herself and she picked one for you. For herself from the Wild Earth Animal Essences and for you from the Nature’s Whispers set.
Butterfly Card This is the card that Sadie picked for herself:
Butterfly: I surrender to the transformative and life changing force of the universe that flows through me.
 
As a catalyst for transformation, supports one in times of emotional and spiritual transition. For letting go, moving forward and trusting in the wind’s ability to carry one. Encourages feelings of lightness, grace and a gentle fluidity in giving and receiving. Nurtures a harmonious balance of vulnerability and strength within the self.
 
 
And this is the card from the deck she picked for you:
Hope and Happiness Card 48: Hope & Happiness
You have reached a time filled with healing energy, new progress and satisfaction. You are at a point for festivity. The energy in this phase is supportive and promotes a feel of “winning”. Let worries and challenges from the past fade away as you focus on the joy that is surrounding you. Feel encouraged and excited about the potential of all of the wonderful promises that are being kept. Celebrate and enjoy your life.

See Sadie in action!

If you’ve got a furry friend you need to talk to, check out Diana at heart-messages.com/. Tell her Sadie sent you.

Accepting What Is

/0 Comments/in , /by

Accepting What IsEach morning I pull a couple of Oracle Cards and post one to Instagram and Facebook. This morning it was, Accepting What Is, and it connected with me even more than usual. My family is dealing with a number of health issues and I’ve been witnessing acceptance in others and in myself on a daily basis.

My father has been on a slow mental and physical decline for a decade or so. His dementia and physical degradation have picked up speed in the past couple weeks which coincides with his wife going in and out of the hospital twice this month dealing with her own health and pain issues. They have both had to accept needing help, something they’ve resisted for a long time. Fortunately, they have support via insurance, their own finances, and nearby friends and family as well.

Two days ago my wife and I accompanied my dad to visit his wife in the hospital. He needs a wheelchair to get around the hospital these days and he nearly fell every time he tried to get in or out of it as well as in or out of the car. I had to help him go to the bathroom, a first for us both, and it was all I could do to be present and truly helpful and not just mentally checkout and disappear.

Yesterday he decided to find out if he could still drive or not. At our urging it had been a couple weeks since he’d been behind the wheel. The short drive he took scared the shit out of him as he came close to multiple accidents, he later reported. For the first time he’s accepted his driving days are over. Of course the challenge will be, does he remember that tomorrow? When he got back home to an empty house following his wild ride yesterday afternoon, he fell. It took him 90 minutes to get himself back up. That has ended his arguments of not needing someone there all the time. He no longer can track the day or time. He can no longer be trusted to take his medication on his own, and we’ve had to call in help to be with him at night and soon now expand it to 24×7.

Even knowing his mental state, it is still very difficult for me to not listen to him, to not believe him, to not trust him. That is what I must accept. I can no longer be the good son who does what his father asks. He no longer knows what is in his, or anyone else’s’, best interest. He can no longer be trusted or believed. That has been the most difficult, and unexpected, part for me.

I’m sure some men are very good care takers and comfort providers, but I am not. I want to run, and ignore this all. I thank God on an hourly basis for my wife, Lori, who has been going to his house every day for the last few weeks. Being a care taker is something that comes naturally to her, plus she doesn’t have the baggage of growing up with this man weighing on things too.

This is the message on the Accepting What Is card.
“It is an act of both power and faith to love, honor, and accept what is. At times it can be challenging to truly accept what’s occurring in your life. When you do so, however, you affirm that there’s a plan for your life and that everything is working for your highest good. Accepting “what is” doesn’t mean that you can’t work to change it, because you can. It does mean that there is gentle, yet profound, awareness that every experience can support your highest good and spiritual evolution.
If there is something you just can’t accept, start by gently acknowledging the fact that you can’t accept it. As you increase your own acceptance in life, this will help others be at peace in their own lives.”
Acceptance. It can be a real bitch.