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You’ll Rarely Know Your Impact

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You’ll Rarely Know Your Impact

Which is why it is even more important to leave your mark.

Over twelve years ago, I posted a short video called “The Best Way To Die.” I chose that name because I had repeatedly searched for that phrase for years. I uploaded it to a YouTube account I no longer use and thought I had lost access to long ago.

I wrote about this video in my book, Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing at Suicide. The video has received far more negative comments and dislikes than positive feedback, as people were upset that I didn’t provide an easy option for suicide. That was the intention behind creating the video – I wanted people to momentarily direct their anger at me instead of themselves.

Last month, I unexpectedly regained access to that account and discovered a comment that filled me with gratitude and moved me to tears.

comment on "The Best Way To Die" video


I’ve been contemplating updating my book, Still Here, for a while now. I’m taking this comment as a sign that it’s time to do so. It will be gratifying to revisit the mention of this video and reflect on its impact eight years later. YouTube has also evolved for the better over the years. They no longer display the number of thumbs down a video has received, and multiple warnings and support resources surround the video.

This comment served as a powerful reminder that we should all share our experiences. We can’t predict the ripple effect of anything we create and release into the world. Embrace vulnerability and share more of yourself.

The original “best way to die” video:

Don’t keep your gold to yourself. Please.

 

Be well,
Andy

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About The Author
Andy Grant

Andy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Healer, and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Infinite Possibilities, The Modern Mystery School, and more.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing. He is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we, as human beings, can feel. He is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be.

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Photo by Lucas Newton on Unsplash

Taking a Big Leap | SkyJump

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Ending 2022 With A Big Leap

While in Las Vegas for a wedding last month, I jumped at the opportunity to take an 855′ leap from The Stratosphere tower on the strip. I wasn’t nervous at all until I saw someone do it. The time from the 3, 2, 1 countdown to me moving felt like a very long moment. The SkyJump was more thrilling than any ride I’ve been on and even more than parachuting. The only time I did that was a tandem jump, so taking that first/last step wasn’t up to me. You can see the video of my SkyJump here:

Here’s the view from the ground, shot by my wife.

One thing that hit me, which I couldn’t put into words right away, was the difference between taking that leap into nothingness for fun versus taking a jump for my demise. On the SkyJump, my nerves vanished once I jumped from the platform, and I experienced joy, thrills, and fun. Nothing in my being communicated that this was a bad idea. I felt completely safe, even though I had no idea how the mechanism that would slow me down worked. I didn’t even ask about it.

I’ve also had the experience of standing atop a building, believing I wanted to die, and trying to get myself to take a much less fun jump. At that moment, everything in my body and energy was saying don’t take this step. There was tremendous resistance, fear, and trepidation. I ended up calling a suicide support line for the first time.

While plummeting through the Vegas night, full of adrenaline and joy, it struck me how fearless the experience was. There was no concern or desire to go splat on the ground. I felt safe and alive, thrilled to be alive.

Whereas in my attempted doom jump, I couldn’t get myself to take that one step into nothingness. I hated myself then, judging myself as weak and pathetic, but looking back, I was safe in a very different way. My better aspects wouldn’t let me take that seemingly one small step.

The first half of 2022 was a dark crucible. I didn’t feel fully alive until July. I knew I wanted a year-end celebration. The SkyJump was a Leap of Life for me. A victory lap for all I had persevered through. I will never forget it and hope to do it again.

I wish you your own Leap of Life this year, a celebration of you and all you have made it through.

If you are in crisis and contemplating any sort of doom jump, please text or call 988 for immediate support. https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

 

Be well,
Andy

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About The Author
Andy Grant

Andy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Healer, and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Infinite Possibilities, The Modern Mystery School, and more.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing. He is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we, as human beings, can feel. He is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be.

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From Suicide to Racism: Talking About It All

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I had the pleasure of guesting on a couple of podcasts that were released this week, with some wildly divergent topics. Yet, at the core, racism, and suicide are about dehumanization. Dehumanizing an “other,” or dehumanizing ourselves.

Blake Johnson hosts, Diary of a Mad Black Man, and our initial discussion on racism in America was called WTF!? on Real Men Feel back in May. Nobody is naive enough to think that one conversation will change everything. Still, I do believe that more and more people engaging in open-hearted discussions about closing the gaps between one another can.

In this diary entry, I invite Andy on the podcast to do a part 2 of WTF! Me and Andy connected in the podcast world and created an episode together WTF Ep 189 on Real Men Feel, towards to beginning of June.

Prior to that, we were on a panel together to discuss being black in America but – Andy is a white man. However, as I’ve grown to know him, I have found him to be an ally in this movement towards black liberation, equality, and freedom. We came together because since these episodes, he has used his platform to push the culture forward and educate himself on his own white privilege and use it for good.

This episode is heavy and it is not enough. However, it is one step forward in the right direction to bring change to the society we currently live in. I appreciate Andy for the work he is doing, being honest, vulnerable, and transparent. We are all in this together.

You can listen right here or on your favorite podcast app.

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Suicide Noted is a weekly podcast in which suicide attempt survivors share their stories in their own words. For episode 19, host Sean Wellington talked to Andy in Massachusetts. SPOILER ALERT: I’m Andy in Massachusetts.

In this show, I share my story plus lessons learned and offer advice on how to help people dealing with suicidal thoughts.

3:50– Can you tell me about your suicide attempt?
7:15– Is there a WHY?
10:40– Can you put words to that kind of pain?
12:10– What’s it like to wake up?
15:40– do you ever ideate?
17:00– If you attempt suicide, are you mentally ill?
19:35– Did you ever get a diagnosis that felt right?
20:15– How did people respond?
27:05– When did you start to change?
32:10– How do you reach someone who is suicidal?
36:00– What’s Real Men Feel about?
38:30– What if someone’s contemplating?
39:40– What about to those in positions of support?
42:15– How’s the lockdown been?
46:20– How can people work with you?
49:10– What do you do for fun?

I hope you find some value in these podcasts. Please share them with others.

If you know of a show you think I should be on, tell me about it.

Be good to yourself,
Andy

 

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