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Taking a Big Leap | SkyJump

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Ending 2022 With A Big Leap

While in Las Vegas for a wedding last month, I jumped at the opportunity to take an 855′ leap from The Stratosphere tower on the strip. I wasn’t nervous at all until I saw someone do it. The time from the 3, 2, 1 countdown to me moving felt like a very long moment. The SkyJump was more thrilling than any ride I’ve been on and even more than parachuting. The only time I did that was a tandem jump, so taking that first/last step wasn’t up to me. You can see the video of my SkyJump here:

Here’s the view from the ground, shot by my wife.

One thing that hit me, which I couldn’t put into words right away, was the difference between taking that leap into nothingness for fun versus taking a jump for my demise. On the SkyJump, my nerves vanished once I jumped from the platform, and I experienced joy, thrills, and fun. Nothing in my being communicated that this was a bad idea. I felt completely safe, even though I had no idea how the mechanism that would slow me down worked. I didn’t even ask about it.

I’ve also had the experience of standing atop a building, believing I wanted to die, and trying to get myself to take a much less fun jump. At that moment, everything in my body and energy was saying don’t take this step. There was tremendous resistance, fear, and trepidation. I ended up calling a suicide support line for the first time.

While plummeting through the Vegas night, full of adrenaline and joy, it struck me how fearless the experience was. There was no concern or desire to go splat on the ground. I felt safe and alive, thrilled to be alive.

Whereas in my attempted doom jump, I couldn’t get myself to take that one step into nothingness. I hated myself then, judging myself as weak and pathetic, but looking back, I was safe in a very different way. My better aspects wouldn’t let me take that seemingly one small step.

The first half of 2022 was a dark crucible. I didn’t feel fully alive until July. I knew I wanted a year-end celebration. The SkyJump was a Leap of Life for me. A victory lap for all I had persevered through. I will never forget it and hope to do it again.

I wish you your own Leap of Life this year, a celebration of you and all you have made it through.

If you are in crisis and contemplating any sort of doom jump, please text or call 988 for immediate support. https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

 

Be well,
Andy

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About The Author
Andy Grant

Andy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Healer, and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Infinite Possibilities, The Modern Mystery School, and more.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing. He is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we, as human beings, can feel. He is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be.

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FU: I Love You

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The first time I ever did a “fuck you, I love you” post it was how I signed off on a video after a friend seemed to die by suicide. It was unplanned wording that perfectly reflected how I was feeling. I used it again in a video after Robin William’s suicide (wow, two years ago for both). In each case, I was saying that I loved them, the person, but I was pissed at how they went out. The “fuck you” was to suicide.

I find myself thinking those same seemingly opposed thoughts, fuck you and I love you, in regards to my father. I wrote a post earlier today for RealMenFeel.org called Strong Enough to Be Sad (read it now if you want to be fully up to speed before proceeding. It’s short and I’ll wait.).

I often tell my coaching clients that they can love someone and still be angry, annoyed, bitter, resentful or frustrated with them. Unconditional love doesn’t mean you don’t also have other emotions, it means beneath all the other emotions, even the so-called ‘negative’ ones, there is love. Unconditional love for yourself means loving you even when you can’t stand you.

Today I brought my dad to see his oncologist for an appointment that we both knew meant cancer was back. He’s already had surgery to remove cancer from his colon and kidneys. While sitting in the waiting room today, he noticed writing on my wrist. He said, “I know I’ve asked before, but what does that say?”

On my left wrist is my first tattoo, which I got six years ago this month. Getting it was a pretty big deal. The incidents that inspired it had me interviewed on CNN and ABC’s Nightline. My dad knew all of this because he lived through it all too.

He was now asking me again what it says on my wrist. No big deal I thought. “It says GRATEFUL,” I told him. His response was a new one. He said, “Jesus Christ, what a faker!’ and stared at me with a slight smirk like he was waiting for me to laugh or react, I’m not really sure.Grateful

I wanted to reply with a hearty, “I hope you die alone on the streets,” and walk out. Instead I turned away, took a slow deep breath, reminded myself that in his dementia-ravaged and scared mind, that was the best he could do for a nervous joke to pass the time. I muttered, “Fuck you, I love you.”

During the appointment we discovered he has multiple growing cancers in his lungs, liver and stomach. Fuck you, I love you.

fuck-you2I-LOVE-YOU-beautiful-pictures-31167221-900-644

Holding On To What Holds Us Back

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I can’t recall a video I’ve thought of making for so long, but didn’t. Better late than never. I’m sharing some things here that I’ve never shared before.

After you watch, I invite you to look around your life, physically, mentally, emotionally… and see what you are ready to get rid of.

What have you been holding on to, that you know holds you back?
Might today be the day to say goodbye to that, forever?

Let me know how it goes.

Letting Go

Real Men Feel

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This year I’ve really felt called to offer more events for men. #RealMenFeel has become the overarching theme of this movement I’m launching. I’m thrilled to let you know that there is now a Real Men Feel group on Facebook and a Real Men Feel Internet TV show.

The first episode of Real Men Feel is live on Tuesday Feb 23 at 5pm Eastern on Blab. This bi-weekly live broadcast is hosted by me, Andy Grant, and my friend, Appio Hunter.

Our first topic will be about the relationship between men and their fathers. If you aren’t familiar with Blab, it is a live broadcasting service that allows up to four people to be part of a video conversation. Viewers can watch, make comments, ask questions or even take one of the open seats, if available, and join the show. Follow this link to subscribe to catch us live or via replay. https://blab.im/andy-grant-real-men-feel-paternal-relationships-men-and-their-dads-realmenfeel

Real Men Feel Show
For those near me in Massachusetts, I’ve also launched a monthly men’s support group at Circles of Wisdom in Andover. Check it out. We meet the third Thursday of each month.

Real Men Feel

Action Cures Fear

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Last night I had the honor of leading a workshop called, To Be A Man, which explored the often confusing and contradictory messages about being a man today, and just what the hell does being a “real” man even mean. A few months ago I began having this nudge to do something specifically for men. In early November, 2015, I was at an event talking to people about my Energy Coaching and Akashic Records Readings and began chatting with a woman and I mentioned feeling called to do more with men. On the spot she asked me to come speak at her art gallery, Blue Wave Fine Art Gallery, as part of a speaker series she was putting together for 2016. The voice of fear in my head was saying “NO! I have no idea what I’d say, this is just some crazy half an idea so far”, but I chose to say yes.

As the evening began last night, it didn’t seem that anyone was coming. I was fine with that. I was telling Asia, the gallery owner, how grateful I was for the opportunity. It gave me the reason to create the content I was presenting, to make a Real Men Feel Facebook group and launch a monthly Men’s Spiritual Support Group at Circles of Wisdom. As a speaker who relies on vulnerability and speaks from the heart – having nobody show-up is not a fear of mine. A non-existent audience is my comfort zone.

As the time to begin arrived, three brave souls were there to listen, to share and to be open to more. I presented my views and experiences of being a man. I did my best to model the authenticity that I believe is key to anyone living a happy and engaging life. Everyone shared – more than I dared to hope for. We talked and explored for 2 1/2 hours.

Fear could have stopped this from happening at so many points. Action cures fear. Please listen to the nudges you get in your life. Your authenticity could be the very gift someone else is in dire need of. Be authentically you.

I have no idea where this men’s initiative will take me, but I’m willing to go there.

Be authentically you.